Feeding the Trolls

Subject: You rock my world

You wouldn’t even have to buy me a purse for me to show you some cyber love. Really.

–Your true love.

Julia J.

- err, was this meant for Bladezz? He’s in HS! Bruiser is more your type!

Subject: TROLL?

finnsmulders.com??? i wonder who in the AOA has the same cyber-stalking skills as zaboo. its incredibly embarrassing and even worse with all the little girly sh*t thrown in there. lol your logo is freakin sick. im buyin your shirt. your fans are not trolls! personaly, i think were more like goblins.

WHIXX22193

- Thanks WHIXX22193, you have Valkerie mostly to thank!

Subject: Dear Masculine Family Member Sibling Once Removed,

(I have be reminded by Aunta Berstudel that you mebby don’t read the mothertongue so well more now. So I am trying be write in hip new letters for you be read. Peas out dawg!)

FINN ! ! !

I could not believe it when I saw you on your website,

It is so good to see you my brother. It is your long lost identical twin, Schwinn. You remember me. Everyone thought I was killed in mysterious explosion and fire at cousin Jurginvek’s herring factory.

Fortunately, I was saved through the miraculous combination of being coated in tiny fish oil and being sunk to the bottom of the fjord for safekeeping. I did lose my memory in the explosion, and have been living these past four years in Norsecofusinghammingtrondmesservonderwegenhoople working as a freelance tulip wrangler and interpretive dance coordinator.

It is so good to see you again, I knew your modeling career would take you places and you would never have to fall back on your secondary talent of writing literary criticism of greeting card poetry.

May Sköll watch over you until we can once again feast together on goat entrail fondue the way Mother likes to make it.

You dear Brother,

Schwinn

- Looks like someone needs some therapy.

Subject: Tinkaballa

Fawkes,

Why, if the Knights of Good suck so much, did you accept one of their loser members into your own guild? I realize it was probably just to get her into your windowless white van, but you could have kicked her out after that. She’s obviously just a d**che.

Drigondii

A.K.A. Codex’s biggest fan

A.K.A. Your worst enemy

A.K.A. Dirk

P.S. I’ll look for you in-game… *laser eyes*

- I laugh when someone filters their own emails.

Subject: Bladezz

That kid is a pubescent little fruitloop. I feel bad for him but that s*** is hilarious.

– Mojo

- Lets not forget what he’s done. This was provoked!